Men are better friends

Women:A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, shetells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment overnight. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends, and none of themconfirms that.

Men:A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife thevery next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night.So the wife calls 10 of his best friends : 5 of them confirm that hestayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming thathe still is there with them !

Conclusion of the story:Men are better friends

Communication Gap

Mr.Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws herarms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a monthoverdue. I think we're going to have a baby! Thedoctor gave me a test today, but until we find out forsure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs.Verma receives a telephone call fromAEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because theelectricity bill has not been paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs.Verma ?"

"Yes...... speaking"

AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW?????"

" Yes ............. We have a system of finding outwho's overdue "

" GOD !!!!!!......... this is too much.........."

"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... Ihave to inform you - you are overdue"

"I know that ....... let me talk to my husband aboutthis tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow "That night, she tells her husband about the visit, andhe, mad as a bull, he rushes to the AEC office thenext day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife isa month overdue? What business is that of yours?" thehusband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception atAEC, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is payus."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, Sir, we'd have no option but tocut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candleinstead."

Husband & The Blind Man

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop; with them are their 8children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the busarrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eightchildren are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind mandecide to walk. After a while the husband gets irritated by the tickingof the stick of the blind man and says to him, "Why don't you put apiece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is drivingme crazy!!"
The blind man replies:
"If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus! So shut up and keepwalking !!!!"

Issued in Public Interest
byMinistry of Family Welfare

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern.

The husband leans over and asks his wife,

"Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you."

"Yes," she says, "I remember it well." "OK," he says,

"how about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time sake?" "Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.

They walk haltingly along, ! leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old mandrops his trousers.

She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes. She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!"

He's hanging on to her hips for dear life.This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, still watching thinks, that was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is! As the couple passes, he says to them,"That was something else! You must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't a $%^#$^ electric fence."